There’s a silent race in parenthood; it’s you and your baby against anyone else and their baby who’s close in age to your’s.
We’ve all been there - someone in our circle shares a random update:
“My kid is now brushing their teeth everyday with toothpaste.”
“Olivia can write her name.”
“Carter is now potty trained.”
“August just learned to swim all on their own.”
“I’m pregnant with my second after just two months of trying.”
We hear it, we reflect on why we’re not at that stage yet, and then we add it to our mental load as another thing we have to do. Then, for fun, we put an unnecessary timeline on it. Maybe it’s personality type. I’ve always had a little “if you’re not first, you’re last” energy in me. It’s motivating in work. In parenting? Sometimes it’s just unrealistic.
Without confidence in how I’m weaving this thought together, the point I want to make is that we’re all first and last at something when it comes to parenting.
What I love about the parenthood community, and it’s the best one I’ve ever been a part of, is that every single person is in an admitted state of learning. There are no shortage of teachers and students. In this community, being ‘first’ gives you the opportunity to help others, including recommending to them what not to do. Being not-first means you get to learn, from maybe someone new.
I think about it sort of like a relay race where runners pass batons to the other runners waiting in the same path. If one of the team members falls or misses their mark, the others are there to pick them up or guide them back on track. Each of their moves impacts the entire team. Some run faster and some run slower. They’re all running at the pace they can best maintain.
